at home by the water

Tonight I got to know the river a bit. I’ve been out there a few times before, but during the bright heat of the day, the river is so wide and open– the trees are pretty but don’t offer shade. It’s a place to move through.

As the sun was sinking down I was in the kitchen trying to stop eating potato chips, and I noticed just how gorgeous the sky was. I have tomorrow off, and I’ve been dealing with a very strange state of brain decay. I’m here and I’m enjoying being here for the reasons that I am here, but I’ve not quite settled in yet and am lacking some of the basic stuff that makes my life mine. I had been reading through my journal a few days ago and found something I’d written a while ago, “I don’t know what I stand to gain from refusing to go outside and ride my bike”, and well I just decided to go out and enjoy the sunset. I live literally about two blocks from the river so I rolled myself an herbal cigarette, grabbed the camera, filled a glass bottle with some water and was off. I really didn’t ride very far at all, the sun having already sunk below the mountains. I sat and let my eyes adjust to the fading light and in that softness I found the comfort of the river. It had rained just a bit so the water was alive with ripples. A ladybug landed on my skirt and startled, I appologized after instinctively brushing it off before realizing who had invaded my personage. A moment later a lovely little white and brown moth landed on my hand which was holding the herbal cigarette– sage, skullcap, damiana and other herbs. To my delight it stayed, though unfortunately it crawled onto the cigarette and flew away as it felt the burning under its feet, poor thing.

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